The Time Has Come

The time has come. Tomorrow I embark on a journey of a lifetime. Tomorrow I head to Guatemala to live and serve for two months. The last nine months of planning have brought joy, fear, excitement, uncertainty, and above all acceptance. Acceptance to the Lord's call. Growing up I never thought that I would spend the summer in a third world country caring for orphans. Not that I didn't think it was a good thing to do, it just wasn't for me. I was going to travel the world on my own terms and for my own enjoyment. But let me tell you, over the last two years God has taken this idea and flipped it upside down. He has taught me that He wants me to live a radical life that is counter to everything our culture deems as acceptable. He says throw away the comforts of your world and find true joy in mine. When Jesus said "Go and make disciples of all nations..." (Matt 28:18) He stirred in my heart a love for the people of Guatemala. When He said "My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus" (Phil 4:19) He provided financial support in abundance. When He said "But The Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one" (2 Thess 3:3) He calmed every fear and eased all the anxiety within me. He provides; He is faithful; He is my God.

God is moving in me and I can only hope that my life will begin to look more and more radical to our society. I am still trying to decipher the Lord's call for my life, but I know without a doubt He wants me in Guatemala this summer, because He is going to teach me something there that I couldn't learn anywhere else. I am called to go and to love without reason, without condition, and without caution. This I know for sure.

Glimpses of the Gospel

Several weeks ago I had the chance to take a beach trip with some of my good friends. And as you may have already experienced, when you’re in any sort of nature be it the beach, mountains, or just a simple park it’s easy to feel the presence of God all around you. Watching the waves come in and out each day I was in awe of His creation. Also, if you know anything about me you know I love to read and when my ears hear “we’re going to the beach” my mind hears “grab every book you can find.” Naturally I listened and ended up bringing 6 books for a week-long trip. Three of the books were part of the Chronicles of Narnia series which is where this blog post is leading to. All of C.S. Lewis’s works are incredible, but this one particular book just screams the gospel and that is what I want to talk about. The following passage comes from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.

“The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe, it would ease the pain in my leg. But the lion told me I must undress first… So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and , instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In a minute or two I just stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. I was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe. But just as I was going to put my foot into the water I looked down and saw that there were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before” (This happened two more times)

“But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good. Then the lion said ‘You will have to let me undress you.’ So I lay flat down on my back to let him do it. The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peeled off. Well he peeled the beastly stuff right off and there it was, lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobby-looking than the others had been. Then he caught hold of me and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And I saw why, I’d turned into a boy again.”

Mmm, can we all just take a second and think about that? I love this passage so much because it sums up such a common issue that we easily over look; self-righteousness. Now you might say ‘hold up Sam, I don’t think I’m righteous or whatever.’ But every time you try to do something on your own that’s what you’re saying to God. No matter how hard or how many times Eustance (the boy in the passage) tried to clean his scales off, they always came back. No matter how hard I try to clean myself up or rid myself of the mean thoughts, the judging looks, the insecurities, the downright selfishness, it always comes back. Y’all I am a mess and nothing that I do can change that. Praise the Lord that there is a second paragraph in that book and that the Gospel continues. Aslan, the lion, finally says to Eustance “You will have to let me.” Aslan is the only one who can clean him of his dragon covering, but it’s not pretty. Being cleaned by the lion is painful; it tears right through the heart. But it works. Jesus is our lion. He is the only one who can clean up my mess, but even more He wants to! He volunteers to strip me of my wickedness and man does it hurt. Understanding how evil my core is and shifting my entire perspective on life do not feel good. The bright side is that I come to realize how much I can’t do on my own and how much I truly need Jesus.  My dependence is on Him, not myself.

Gosh I’m sorry that was so long, but I seriously could talk about this for hours and reread that passage 100 times and not be tired of it.

“Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God” -2 Corinthians 3:5

Time Is Shrinking

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the concept of time. It can be good or bad, long or short, hindering or freeing. The 24 hour day that man constructed long ago just doesn't seem to be enough anymore. With technology connecting all parts of the world, a days work never really comes to an end. Time has become one continuous cycle of event after event. At least this is how it seems to me.Yet, while time is racing ahead, the Lord continues to slowly mold me into the person He wants me to become. Specifically, He has been showing me the value and importance of continued relationships both here in the US and in Guatemala.

Several weeks ago my car broke down, what in inconvenience! But, during the month that I was car-less, I realized how much I depend on my car and how little I ever depend on others.I will even venture to say that my lack of dependence on the people around me is a direct correlation on my lack of dependence on God. It is a habit that I must break. I must depend on him for the big things and the little things. I also realized that I have been blessed with some fantastic friends who were willing to cart me all around town. The Lord is faithful, and He will continue to teach me lessons for the rest of my life. (Hopefully the next one won't involve my car)

Moving forward with my rant on time, in three short months I will be leaving for Guatemala. Plane tickets are soon to be bought and raising support is always on the agenda. I simply cannot comprehend that this journey that I have been planing for so long is arriving so quickly. I still have so much to do before I step onto a plane, yet I'm so excited that I can barely sit still long enough to even write this. The Lord is calling me away from comfort and into the lives of His children. He is faithful, and I will follow wherever He leads.

All in all, my time may be shrinking but the people that God has placed into my life are precious. I will strive to treat them that way with all the time I have been given.

New Year, New Adventures

Woah, what a semester. For the past few months I've been running around with a To Do list 15 items long and secretly I love it. By nature I am a busy body. I thrive with a million things to do and only so much time to do them in. Busyness makes up a part of who I am. But with the semester done, my lists are shrinking and my free time is expanding. A much as this drives me crazy, I also find it refreshing to simply rest. This includes resting in The Lord. As I reflect on this past year, I am overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. God has taken me through a year full of adventure and learning and while I could talk about a handful of experiences, today I will only mention one.

The one thing that God has placed on my heart all year long would be the sweet children of Guatemala. As many of you know, I visited an orphanage called Fundaninos in March and then again in August. Since my return to the States, not a day goes by that I do not think of them. My heart longs to hold those kids in my arms once more. Fortunately that “once more” is not far off.

As cheesy as this may be, I would like to introduce my upcoming adventure with the lyrics of Michel Jackson’s “Man In the Mirror.”

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror

I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways

And No Message Could Have

Been Any Clearer

If You Wanna Make The World

A Better Place

Take a Look At Yourself,

And Then Make a Change

With a new year comes new goals and this year I will make a change in more ways than one. Primarily, I will exchange my comfortable house, food, and language for time serving the Lord in a foreign country. This summer my best friend and I are planning to return to Guatemala for a 2 month stay and excitement does not even begin to describe how I feel about this trip. We have been meeting with the mission’s coordinator at our church to work out the logistics of our impending journey. At the moment we are devising a budget with the rough estimate being around $2,500 for each of us. Obviously, for two college kids this number is quite large, but we both feel God's call to love on orphans and therefore we know He will provide our way. Fundraising in the next few months will be critical and that is where I ask for your help. Along the side of this blog there is a link where you can donate if you are able and willing. Also, will you please spread the word? Tell all your friends and maybe someone else will be inspired to answer God's call to mission as well. The Lord designed us to be in community with one another and so to my community, I ask for your support on this journey to spread the Word of God and to love His people.

Little Victories

In the last few months I've had the opportunity to nanny for a family with four children. Every day is a new adventure, but I'd like to share one story in particular. The youngest little girl is two and when I first started watching her, she was not fond of me. Tears would ensue as soon as mom walked out the door. She wouldn't even let me touch her so an older sibling ended up having to sooth her every time. Well after about a month, I walked into the kitchen and no one was in sight then all of a sudden I hear little footsteps. I turn around and across the room, there she is freshly awaken from a morning nap. I open my arms and say "Hi, come here sweet girl" and that's when it happened. Her face lit up and she ran into my open arms with the purest of laughs. I had won her over. She finally accepted me.

It's these little victories that mean the most to me and I think it's because they remind me of Jesus. I imagine my joy in those moments, and then I realize how that won't even compare to the joy that God has when He looks at His children. He brings us little victories all the time, but all to often we are caught up in our busy lives and we don't even notice. Ever since my acceptance into the world of the little girl mentioned above, I've thought more about the little victories from God. Included in that list is life-long friends that I've made in the last two years, two completely funded trips to Guatemala with a third on the way,  and of course the ability to know the wonderful family that I nanny for. While that might not seem like a much, they are the day to day thoughts that instantly bring a smile to my face and a prayer to my Maker. He has made all these things possible and all I can do is thank Him with the gifts and talents He has given me. Therefore I will rejoice in the little victories!

Hola Flor

Hola Flor. She is nine years old and has the most beautiful face. In fact several women in Guatemala ‘claim’ to be her mother simply because of her beauty. They are not her mother, however, because she is an orphan at Fundaninos. When I really met Flor on my second trip, she was always buzzing with life. Her and three other girls of the same age did everything together. If I saw her, I saw them all which I loved because it reminded me of my family back home. These girls are each other’s sisters. They look out for one another. During my time with Flor, we would throw a ball, do cartwheels, and jump on the trampoline. At one point, I was struggling trying to speak basic Spanish to her and she stops me to say “You can speak English.” What?! She’s understood me this whole time and just watched me fall on my face trying to talk to her. Needless to say we both got a good laugh out of that one and from that point on our conversations became a lot smoother. Yet, every time I tried to get her to practice her English she became quite shy, her little head would drop down and her eyes would look up at me and my heart melted. She’s smart but doesn’t like to flaunt it. She’s kind but doesn’t beg for recognition. She is just a nine year old girl with a servant’s heart for Jesus.

Meet Javier

Meet Javier. He is five years old and because of nerve damage at birth his right hand and foot are slightly deformed. Halfway through my first trip to Guatemala, I fell in love with this little boy. On my second trip, the deal in my heart was sealed. Every time he saw me his eyes lit up and let me tell you he has beautiful little eyes. He would grab my hand and away we would run to the trampoline. Now at this point you might be thinking ‘He runs? With a deformed foot?’ Javier’s handicap has not stopped him from anything! He runs and jumps and does wrestling moves just as well if not better than the other boys his age. At one point in the week I stood watching him play with his friends and thought, “Lord you are so good. He is fully able to just be a little kid because You have placed him in this orphanage where he is cared for and where his peers accept him.” On this last night of my second trip, the staff and kids threw us a good-bye party, complete with performances and a dance party. Well by this time Javier and I were tight and he would not let me put him down the entire time. If I was sitting he was on my lap; if I was standing he was on my hip or my shoulders. As you probably know, five year old boys are not the lightest of beings, but I didn’t care. I would’ve held him in my arms, listening to him laugh all night long. My sweet Javier, oh how I miss him.